I Can Use This
Yes, all that goes back to the old "write what you know," but aren't there less obvious ways we put ourselves into what we write? A famous writer, told that his latest book had the same theme as an earlier work, replied, "Of course it does! I've written the same book over and over, and I'll keep doing it until I get it right!" Some writers try to work out relationships in their own lives, usually problematic relationships, through their characters. Sons with fathers, daughters with mothers, husbands with wives, etc. Experiences may be revisited in a fictional world and played out to the same or different conclusion. The themes of our lives, whether we know or acknowledge it, may become the themes of our stories. Our conflicts may become the conflicts of our characters.
There are also incidental ways we put our world into a fictional world. A character may represent a person in our lives or may share physical or personality traits with a real person--a mother, a brother, the girl with the cellphone who annoyed us on the bus, the man arguing with the older woman in the restaurant--or be an amalgam of several people. (It's handy to have a lot of siblings and cousins.) The same is true of the places we've been. Our fictional settings can be places or a combination of places we know well.
Emotions? Actors are known for thinking during even the most personal experiences, "I can use this." Writers may be much the same, mining the past and present for emotions they can "use." Perhaps we control our emotions, rage not leading to murder, sexual attraction not leading to the abandonment of our spouse and children, but what if our characters don't exercise the same restraint?
We think we write fiction. But how much do we really make up?
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